Ever had that feeling in the morning before opening your eyes, you hyperventilate and start sobbing in your sleep? You don’t have the strength to wake up and you’re not happy or excited that it’s a new day instead you feel “why did I wake up today?” Anybody who has been through a heartbreak or has watched ‘Breaking Bad’ has felt this way; the reason is quite simple, sometimes we get attached to people or even characters, with those we can easily connect to. It’s nearly impossible for us to accept the fact that they’re no longer in our lives anymore and we don’t have a reason to live.
Some decisions that I’ve made in my life being impulsive and immature and I wish I could go back in time and change them; I’m sure everyone feels that way at some point of time in life. When I fell in love, it was blind and I too was blinded in love. I never learned how to exist without that person but now I’m left with no choice; this time it is different because I’ve made that choice myself.
Just a day ago I was sitting in the GVK one food court with a plate of fruit salad and a Lemonade and I discovered something about myself; I realized that the pieces of the fruits that I like (Watermelon and Grapes), I was saving them for later and the ones I didn’t like (Chikoo and Apple), I was finishing them off quickly. Maybe that’s how life is served to me as well and I’m here finishing off with the things that I don’t like, saving some great experiences for later and the Lemonade is there to keep everything balanced. Let’s think of the pieces of fruits I don’t like as the bad choices I’ve made in life and pieces of fruits I like as the good events that I’m yet to experience; the Lemonade is a friend who’s there to make you feel better when you accidentally put a piece of Chikoo in your mouth instead of Watermelon.
Life’s simple, we are the ones who make it complicated and ask ourselves “why did this happen?” “How did this happen”, well we made it happen, we couldn’t keep up with ourselves but Love isn’t supposed to feel like that, Love doesn’t need to make you feel suffocated, Love is beautiful, it should always lift you up and not make you feel down. Love isn’t about who’s mistake it was and who said what, it’s about well ‘us’ is all we’ve got and in the end ‘us’ is all we have.
Sometimes we love someone too much and they don’t deserve to know us like that; sometimes we give too much forgetting what the other person requires or looking for and in the end we are left being hurt and scarred for life, this is all against the purpose of Love, Love is supposed to heal you.
Being hurt is okay, learning to live alone is okay, a fear of losing oneself is okay but being with someone who hurts you, leaves you alone and asks you to lose your individuality is not okay. In the end I can only say ‘thank you’, for not being there, thank you for misunderstanding me, thank you for making me believe that I deserve better.